I was recently speaking about a so called “relationship problem” which has a girl.
She is thirty five years old and though she says that she anxiously needed being married with children at this point, it has not taken place.
This relationship goal of hers is actually the target of her for a dozen years, and annually that “happily ever after” life has eluded her she has grown increasingly unhappier with the life of her.
She complains that the many sole men that she meets come out to be “losers”.
(Another unhappy relationship design of hers is an angry rage pattern of verbal encounter that she explodes into when her targets are certainly not met in a relationship.)
I tried explaining to her that the more she waits for her life to help her emotional state, the design of her of unhappiness grows more and more deeply engrained. Which means that she is going to feel frequently trapped in unhappiness under all situations.
She insisted that her unhappiness is an outcome of her not being in a loving relationship and she went on to blame the anger of her and melancholy on the males who may have let her down.
This particular standpoint of hers represents what we are able to call UNCONDITIONAL unhappiness.
I told her, “While you think that your despondency would straightaway raise if you might only end up with a lucky marriage, you would learn quickly that the sorrow of yours and anger returns even in case you did meet up with male of the goals of yours. Why? Because your negative emotional pattern is habitual.”
As long as we make our unhappiness someone else’s responsibility, or blame it on our life-conditions, we enhance an unhappy attitude that looks increasingly inescapable.
One more factor at play here involves the so-called “losers” she’s bringing in.
Provided we remain in a negative emotional state, we genuinely can’t attract or search for positive, sentimentally healthy people to connect with.
We repel psychologically healthy people on a conscious or maybe subconscious level, since our attitude problem “radiates” and others “pick up on” the bad emotional imbalance we live in.
Do YOU endure UNCONDITIONAL unhappiness?
The way out begins as you are taking responsibility for the emotional reactions of yours and attitudes toward life and toward individuals, rather than regarding your circumstances or perhaps somebody else as accountable for the way you think.
The next thing is to examine the attitudes of yours and emotional states until you recognize how your negativity, not your circumstances, is really all that is short in just how between you and happiness.
The 3rd action is to persistently and patiently work on becoming more mindful of your emotions and the attitudes of yours, so that you are able to practice being a little LESS angry and free and unhappy yourself from the practice of unhappiness, little by little, each day.
As a consequence, you will find the life of yours to be far more beautiful simply the way that it is, you will pull in “better” folks into your lifestyle, as well as you’ll be a little more sentimentally stable and resilient in case you do discover a true “winner” of a mate for a healthier, happier marriage.